# BURNS Keeping track of mostly G-rated burns — clever family friendly insults; clean roasts If you were a spice, you’d be flour. More disappointing than an unsalted pretzel If you were a book, you would be two books. "You are so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece" - Sergeant L. Hartman I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong I envy the people that never met you Wheel is still spinning but gerbil died awhile back Few fries short a happy meal I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you I have neither the time nor the cartons to explain this to you You’re like a lighthouse in the middle of a desert: bright but not a lot of use You are a non essential vitamin You’ve got a face for radio Of all my little swimmers, how were you the winner? Couldn’t organize a one car funeral