# 🗣️ NOTES - PUBLIC SPEAKING Alan Alda's 3 rules for expressing your thoughts is useful for all types of communication. They are: 1. Make no more than three points 2. Explain difficult ideas in three different ways and 3. Make important points three times. The great Sufi poet, Rumi, believed that before we speak, our words should pass through three gates. Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? ## Lectures “Every lecture should state one main point and repeat it over and over, like a theme with variations. An audience is like a herd of cows, moving slowly in the direction they are being driven towards.” * Every lecture should make only one point * The advice we give others is always the advice we need to follow most; Reciprocity is remarkably persuasive. * Give people something to take home * Never run over time ## Microcentury “After fifty minutes (one microcentury as von Neumann used to say), everybody’s attention will turn elsewhere even if we are trying to prove the Riemann hypothesis. One minute over time can destroy the best of lecture According to Gian-Carlo Rota, the mathematician John von Neumann used the term microcentury to denote the maximum length of a lecture. One microcentury is 52 minutes and 35.7 seconds – one millionth of a century, nearly an hour. ## Toast * Tell a story; * Optimistic; don’t try to be funny; avoid sex, religion, politics, race — don’t rant * Authentic - have something nice to say; what they mean to you * Speech - practice; read loud; edit down * Time yourself - 90 seconds to 2 minutes; 2-3 minutes Never drink alcohol before you speak ## Small Talk "FORD" is an acronym identifying four near-universal topics you can ask someone about in small-talk situations: * Family * Occupation * Recreation * Dreams The FORD method is all about asking open-ended questions and listening attentively to someone's response ## Charisma real-time charisma charisma—that alluring, mysterious, stubbornly human trait that draws people to you In Greek, charisma translates as a “gift.” Rather than keep that gift to exploit for themselves, some charismatic people disperse it. They hand it out at social events, such as the holiday parties at this time of year, and use it to guide the energy of a shared occasion. I call these people vibe popes. Consider it a nondenominational title for those who unite people under the divine light of a good time. the guardians of the party’s communal energy considered facilitation ## Children ### How to Talk to Kids, According to Mister Rogers Mr Roger's Nine Steps - aka Freddish 1. **“State the idea you wish to express as clearly as possible, and in terms preschoolers can understand.”** Example:  *It is dangerous to play in the street.* 2. **“Rephrase in a positive manner,”** as in *It is good to play where it is safe.* 3. **“Rephrase the idea, bearing in mind that preschoolers cannot yet make subtle distinctions and need to be redirected to authorities they trust.”** As in,  *Ask your parents where it is safe to play.* 4. **“Rephrase your idea to eliminate all elements that could be considered prescriptive, directive, or instructive.”** In the example, that’d mean getting rid of “ask”: *Your parents will tell you where it is safe to play.* 5. **“Rephrase any element that suggests certainty.”** That’d be “will”:  *Your parents can tell you where it is safe to play.* 6. **“Rephrase your idea to eliminate any element that may not apply to all children.”** Not all children know their parents, so: *Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play.* 7. **“Add a simple motivational idea that gives preschoolers a reason to follow your advice.”** Perhaps:  *Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is good to listen to them.* 8. **“Rephrase your new statement, repeating the first step.”** “Good” represents a value judgment, so: *Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them.* 9. **“Rephrase your idea a final time, relating it to some phase of development a preschooler can understand.”** Maybe:  *Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them, and listening is an important part of growing.* [How to Talk to Kids, According to Mister Rogers](https://www.fatherly.com/life/how-to-talk-to-kids-mister-rogers) [Mr. Rogers' Nine Rules for Speaking to Children (1977) \| Open Culture](https://www.openculture.com/2019/05/mr-rogers-nine-rules-for-speaking-to-children-1977.html)